I don’t know about you, but in our family it is vital for our daughter to understand the moments of discussion and direction!
You know what I’m talking about, there are time when you want your child to be involved, you want their thoughts and opinions. And then, there’s the times when you feel a lecture coming on- and it’s their turn to sit and listen. But what ques are we giving the kids to let them know when to speak and join in the convo and when to keep their lips closed and ears open?
I also like to make my expectations clear, as earl as possible. It’s like getting a speeding ticket when the speed limit sign was tucked behind a bunch of trees and you had no idea it changed, it’s feels unfair- right?!
Label the two whenever possible!
One example “I don’t really understand why you made that choice… I want to try and understand what you we’re thinking” Be inviting with questions and pausing for reflection.
Another example could look like this…”It appears you are feeling frustrated, but I am giving you a direction, which means even if this isn’t what you want to do- you need to be respectful”
Social ques are so important in life and kids will be faced with picking up on tone, facial expressions, and listening- learning when to speak up.
Be sure to offer both options.
Many times it seems that we really need to be authoritative after something happens, or remind them of the rules and expectations.
Yet, sometimes- especially as tweens get older they need to be apart of the discussion to stay engaged in what you’re saying!